


Expelled!

by Van



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Challenge Response, Comedy, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 12:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15930155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Van/pseuds/Van
Summary: A short, humorous re-imagining of Blake's 7 as an American High School AU.





	Expelled!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a "B7 characters in the real world" theme. I apologize for the Americanness of this, but it would have been far worse if I'd try to make it more British. (Write what you know, they say.) I also apologize for the rest of it, too.

“Expelled! But that’s not possible! Blake can’t be expelled!”

“Well, he did break that kid’s arm.” Vila looked up at Jenna from where he sat, eating his lunch. She was still holding her lunch tray, staring at him, aghast.

“ _What_?” Jenna sat down beside him. “You had better start from the beginning, Vila. And I swear, if this is one of your little practical jokes . . .”

“Honest, Jenna! He was expelled! He got into a fight with one of the kids from the Academy up the way. You know the one?”

Jenna’s eyes darkened. “I know the one. It wasn’t Travis by any chance, was it?”

Vila brightened. “Got it in one! You know him?”

“Unfortunately. That little twerp has been trying to sabotage our fundraiser for months now. Serves him right, getting his arm broken. I hope Blake broke that gaudy leather jacket he wears too.” Jenna moodily stabbed her fork into her food. Then the situation came home to her. “Oh, but Blake! I can’t believe they expelled him! If he was stopping Travis’ sabotage attempts . . . It’s so unfair.” She pushed her food away and laid her head down on the cafeteria table.

Vila eyed her untouched meal. “It was a dangerous fundraiser anyway.”

Jenna sat up, glaring at him. “They’re going to demolish our school, Vila!”

“What’s wrong with that? Not fond of coming here anyway.”

She sighed heavily. “What’re we going to do? I’ll bet nothing happened to Travis. They’re going to level our school into a parking lot, Vila, and Travis is going to laugh while they’re doing it. And then the Academy is going to dominate every sports circuit we compete in because we’re stuck in a bunch of portable buildings in a shopping mall parking lot. Travis is going to love it.”

“He’s captain of the Academy’s football team now, too.” Off Jenna’s horrified look, Vila added, “Well, he _was_. Heard he broke his arm recently.” Vila grinned. “Blake gave him an impressive black eye, too.”

“Good for Blake!” Her elation did not last long. Jenna pounded her fists on the table. “Oh, I can’t stand it! Blake’s worked so hard to raise money to save this school!”

“Can’t we do it without him?”

“You? Volunteering to work?”

Vila suddenly hunched his shoulders, seeming to decrease in size by half. “I could cheer you on, at least. From a respectable distance, of course.”

Jenna managed a sad smile. “All of Blake’s plans are in his locker and I don’t know the combination. They’ll probably throw them out if he’s been expelled.

Vila perked up. “A locked locker, you say?” He put his hands out in front of him and cracked his knuckles. “Just call me Fingers.”

“Vila! You mean you can open it?”

“I’m a whiz at locks, didn’t I tell you? Just give me thirty seconds!”

Jenna’s eyes brightened. Thoughts were filling her head as she schemed. “Vila, you’re a lifesaver! After you get into his locker, we can break into the principal’s office. If we can get to his computer, we might just be able to change Blake’s records to a suspension. Then he could come back!”

“Jenna!” Vila whispered, mortified. “We can’t do that!”

“You can’t pick the lock?”

“Of course I can,” Vila said, indignant. “But they’d expel us too if we got caught! Besides, computer hacking? That’s something else entirely.”

Jenna looked thoughtful again. Vila finished his lunch and started on hers. After a few minutes, Jenna’s eyes shifted, looking across the cafeteria to the far corner of the room. 

Noticing her stare Vila followed her gaze, focusing on the lone figure sitting there, ignoring his lunch in favor of typing something up on a fancy laptop. “Oh no,” Vila said, straightening. “No, no, no.”

“Vila, you have to do this for me.”

“There’s no way I’m asking Avon to help us— _you_ —hack into the school computers.”

“But he’s the only one that can do it! And he’s just corrupt enough he might help us, too.”

“So you go ask him!”

“You’re the one who knows him.”

Vila was affronted. “We’re in the _chess club_ together. That doesn’t mean I _know_ him.”

“Please, Vila. I’ll do anything for you.”

“You already owe me a favor!” Off her blank look, he elaborated. “Remember that time I covered for you when you smuggled those firecrackers in?”

Jenna winced. “So I’ll owe you two favors. You know I’m good at my word.”

“And then what? Next you’ll want me to get Big Gan off the wrestling team to go crunch up Servalan’s car—you know she put Travis up to this. He couldn’t find his feet if she didn’t tell him to look down.”

“I hate that girl.” Still, Jenna’s eyes sparkled. “You know, my friend at the CA continuation school would probably be on board helping Gan with that. They call her Killer Cally.”

Vila gulped. “Did she kill someone?”

“No, but she says she’s always wanted to.” Jenna grinned at him rather threateningly.

Vila attempted not to cower at the gleam in Jenna’s eyes. He knew that threat was directed at him, not Servalan. “Fine,” he said, getting up. “I’ll ask Avon. Expect he’ll laugh in my face, but I’ll ask. Hope you’ve got money squirreled away. He’s going to want payment, and lots of it.”

“I’ll handle that if he agrees. I owe you one, Vila.”

“You owe me two!”

She shook her head. “Go!”

Vila took a few, timid steps in Avon’s direction. Then he turned back to Jenna. “Hey.” Jenna gave him a flat glare. “You better go give Cally a call.”

“Why?”

“’Cause if this doesn’t work, we’re all going to end up at Cygnus with her.”


End file.
